


Was I discovered or invented? (It feels like I’ve always been here)

by demonn



Series: I made my love a cheesecake [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bucky Barnes is wierded out take notes dudebros, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, He made a microwave sentient, Loki is always seen drinking wine, M/M, Thor cooks take notes, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, steve lowkey loves Thor, thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 15:37:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18995533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonn/pseuds/demonn
Summary: Tony made the microwave sentient, cue the shenanigans?





	Was I discovered or invented? (It feels like I’ve always been here)

**Author's Note:**

> So. Hi. This is what I made, with my fingers. It’s 2:41am in London while I wrote this not so yes. Hi.
> 
> Micks name comes from the face that when I searched up microwave in google translate, ‘mikro’ was the first thing to come up, from there? Mick. Great, huh? Mike would have worked as well but I’m invested in mick.
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this and stay safe. Also, king princess owns me. Thanks, that’s it.
> 
> Update: it's 00:46 30th of May and I've finally edited this. Let me know if I've missed some stuff though,,,,, tbh I'm pretty tired. Anyway, enjoy.
> 
> [my twt](https://twitter.com/katsudem)

“Uhh, What the fuck Tony?” Was the first thing Bucky said, the second he turned into the kitchen. If the bad smell hadn’t flicked every warning switch in his head on, then the state of the kitchen (his kitchen) did. “What the fuck-“

“I’m trying to make the microwave sentient,” he said, words too slow and sluggish to be anything but sleep deprived. “While I was experiencing sleep paralysis-“

“We don’t have time to unpack that, but go on.”

“-I saw the TV from cloudy with a chance of meatballs in the corner of my room. I know you would hate me if I took apart your tv in hopes of making it sentient, and it would be too easy to just upload one of the babies into it so-“

“Wait, wait, _wait_ ,” Bucky said, throwing his bag onto the floor so he could properly focus on Tony. “You’re telling me that you took apart my microwave so you could make it sentient. Alive. Able and unwilling.”

Tony blinked at him. “Yeah I guess so.”

“We need to kill it.”

-

It had taken half an hour to calm Bucky down and another half an hour to convince him to keep the microwave then another half an hour after that for Bucky to finally be calm. Well, as calm as you could get around a sleep deprived Tony Stark.

Bucky almost regretted leaving him in his apartment while he ran down to the cafe. Key word being almost. The man had arranged his spice rack just how he liked it, cleaned his surfaces, changed the sheets, organised his book and magazine collection in order of dates and authors. He’d made Bucky’s apartment seem less messy and more... carefully contained.

He’d also made Bucky’s microwave _sentient_. They couldn’t gloss over that.

“Does it, he, she, they whatever, have a name?” Bucky asked, hands clasped around his mug of coffee and he stared at the microwave(?) “I don’t want it to set the house on fire because I’m disrespecting it by calling it microwave all the time.”

“It can’t set your house on fire, I haven’t given it limbs,” Tony said, pausing before he turned his eyes on the microwave. “ _Yet_.”

Bucky gave a muffled squeak, putting his coffee mug on the table. “If you give it a means to harm me I’m leaving the country and never coming back.”

“I would not harm you, Mr.Bucky,” the microwave said, scaring the aforementioned man off his chair. “I do not wish to harm anyone.”

“Oh fuck! It speaks!” Bucky shrieked. “Tony What the fuck?”

“Mr.Bucky. You are right. I do not wish to be called ‘it’ or ‘microwave’. I have thoughts and feelings and a desire to be more.” The microwave beeped once, then twice, before speaking again. “I simply wish to do my job, but be more than just a microwave.”

“Well then...” Tony started, sweating nervously at Bucky’s rapidly worsening expression. “What do you wish to be called?”

“Mick, Mick would be fine.”

-

“There are worse things that could end a relationship, I guess.” Steve said, clutching the glass of beer Bucky had poured for him. “Like, talking microwave, whatever, but have you heard of _cheating_?”

“I’m scared to go to sleep because I don’t think tiny is sure about whether or not he gave ‘Mick’ limbs. What if it- he remembers that time I burned the top when the cheese unexpectedly caught on fire.”

“I never did manage to figure out how you did that, bud,” Scott said from the sofa. “Steve never told me the full story.”

Bucky turned towards the man, wine glass shaking dangerously. “Who the fuck are you?”

Scott sighed dramatically, standing up. “I’ll be in my room. No one ever knows who I am anyway." He said, taking the bowl of cool Doritos that Bucky hated with him.

“You don’t have to be so mean to Scott. His apartment has an ant infestation and my place is close enough that he can still see his daughter,” Steve explained, licking one of his Dorito dusted fingers. “But back to Mick. Has it done anything?”

“He hasn’t done anything yet. He’s asked me how my day was and said goodbye and stoped warming up my food when it got to a temperature he deemed advisable.”

“See! Helps out with everyday life! It’s a maid you don’t have to pay for!”

“This maid lives in my microwave and torments me in my sleep. Sometimes, I can hear him singing, Steve. Singing. Where did he learn how to sing?”

“You know of Sam was here he would call you a dumbass.”

“And that’s why he’s locked in the bathroom right now.”

-

“You’ve created, a talking, maybe walking, microwave while sleep-deprived and afraid for your life,” Loki frowned, swishing the red wine he held. “I need new friends. I’m replacing most of you, starting with you Anthony.”

“It’s not that bad-“

“It is that bad, Tones. What does that microwave know?” Rhodes said, leaning forward quizzically. “What did you teach it.”

“How to say fuck,” Tony said, just as Pepper walked in.

“What did Tony teach how to say fuck,” she said, pulling off her heels. “Hopefully not a baby this time.”

“Don’t worry, Pepper, Peter hasn’t been spoiled by bad language just yet. Harley? You gotta watch out-“

“Anthony taught a sentient microwave how to say fuck and he doesn’t know it’s full capabilities,” Loki started, the snake. “And guess where it is? In James’ home.”

“Bucky?” Pepper asked. Tony nodded, eyes downcast as he sipped on his grape sparkling water. “If all the things that I had imagined hearing today, why did this have to be the thing I heard?”

“Mick hasn’t done anything yet, Bucky told me. He asked him how his day was and stopped the microwave at the perfect time. He’s practically darling, Pepper-pot. You would love him.”

“I’m leaving the country if that thing has limbs.”

“Funny. That’s what Bucky said as well.”

-

“This is the microwave?” Steve said, leaning against the counter, ignoring the muffled snicker from Loki. “This is the thing that has been tormenting your life.”

“I am a 'thing' with feelings, Steven. I would like it if you called me Mick.” Mick the microwave said in that familiar slightly robitic voice of his. “Or he/him. I’m not an it. I am not something you should be afraid of.”

“He’s charming. Cute,” Rhodey said, eyeing the microwave suspiciously.

“Thank you, colonel Rhodes. This is the first compliment I’ve received since Mr.Bucky called me. ‘Funky little hunk of junk’. I am still confused in whether it was a compliment or an insult.”

“Compliment,” Bucky clarified. “A slightly mean one.”

“Thank you, Mr.Bucky. I will now send you a smile.”Small red smile come yo on the microwave screen, a simple colon with a closed bracket. Nothing extraordinary, but something.

“This is the... Mick, you deemed capable of murder?” Loki asked, sipping on his red wine. “James, you are almost as foolish as Thor.”

“I like Thor he gives great hugs,” Steve said, smile on his face. “And he can cook.”

“I will tell him you said this, Steven. Do not be surprised if he asks for your hand in marriage.” Loki shook his head, adjusting his black tie.

“I don't want him to get sad if I reject! Don’t put me in this situation-“

“Gentlemen,” Mick interrupted. “I think this could all be solved with some cake and ice cream. There is no need to worry.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to take it if he developed suicidal tendencies or had an existential crisis and decided to set himself on fire,” Pepper said, fiddling with her necklace.

“You’re right, I’ve kind of warmed up to him,” Bucky said, voice low. “He’s liked a kid that loves you back and actually helps you and not abandon you for someone else.”

“See! I told you it would all work out fine,” Tony said, before turning to the microwave. “Mickey boy, you must not, under any circumstances, leave this mortal plane of your own will.”

The microwave sent out a few more smiley faces, each one progressively brighter. “Do not worry sir, you programmed me to be a healthy person. I will not be leaving anytime soon.”


End file.
